| EGNATIUS, QUOD CANDIDOS HABET DENTES ... |
EGNATIUS OF THE WHITE TEETH |
| Catullus (Gaius Valerius Catullus) | tr. Humphrey Clucas |
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Egnatius, quod candidos habet dentes, renidet usque quaque. Si ad rei ventum est subsellium, cum orator excitat fletum, renidet ille; si ad pii rogum fili lugetur, orba cum flet unicum mater, renidet ille. Quidquid est, ubicumque est, quodcumque agit, renidet: hunc habet morbum, neque elegantem, ut arbitror, neque urbanum. Quare monendum est te mihi, bone Egnati. Si urbanus esses aut Sabinus aut Tiburs aut pinguis Vmber aut obesus Etruscus aut Lanuvinus ater atque dentatus aut Transpadanus, ut meos quoque attingam, aut quilubet, qui puriter lavit dentes, tamen renidere usque quaque te nollem: nam risu inepto res ineptior nulla est. Nunc Celtiber es: Celtiberia in terra, quod quisque minxit, hoc sibi solet mane dentem atque russam defricare gingivam, ut quo iste vester expolitior dens est, hoc te amplius bibisse praedicet loti. |
Egnatius of the white teeth Is always smiling. If they stand By the prisoner's bar and hear his counsel Moving the crowd to tears - he smiles. If they mourn at a young boy's Funeral, and the stricken mother Grieves for her only son - he smiles. Wherever he is, whatever he does, On every conceivable occasion, He smiles. It's a disease, neither Elegant, nor in good taste. Here's some advice, my dear Egnatius. Roman, Sabine, or Tiburtine, Umbrian pig, or plump Etruscan, Swarthy, massive-toothed Lanuvian, or (to include my own people) Transpadane - were you any of these, or anyone else who cleans His teeth with fresh water, still I'd bar that everlasting grin. Nothing's worse than a fool's laughter. As it is, you're Celtiberian: The natives there scrub their teeth And gums with what their bladders pass. The more dazzling your smile, The more you've swilled your mouth with urine. |
Transl. Copyright © Humphrey Clucas 1985 - publ. Agenda Editions & Hippopotamus Press
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